When all is complete, it is time to begin again

Seven years ago April I went through a divorce. At the time, it felt like the most traumatic time of my life, although the actual experience was about 6 months. But what is more astonishing for me is, that the 7 years to follow have been more of a struggle than those agonizing 6 months. I have felt so many emotions-hurt, loneliness, fear, brokenness, unloved, failure, depression, and anger. Many times I doubted my decision of divorce. Even felt like I made a mistake. Now those who know me-really know me pre-divorce-would probably disagree; more strongly take my temperature right now. But nonetheless I often doubted that decision. I mean really, who elects to struggle emotionally and financially-is what I would often ask myself. I found myself making sacrifices, that I believe, no one should ever have to make. I was out of money more times than I can remember but totally embarrassed and afraid to ask for help. Today, I would still rather starve or live in my car than ask for help. Who lives like that? No one should!

Well I’ve decided that I’m done. I’m done wallowing in what was, should have been and what might have been. I’m done dreaming about what I want, could have or should have. It’s time to take over my destiny. At least the little bit I can control. It’s time to go to work.

I am writing today, while on disability, because I experienced so much stress early in August that the doctors are testing for a mini stroke. I know that now is the time to reclaim my life. I must reclaim it in order to survive-to live. I must close a door in order for another to open.

I have read that the number 7 is the year of completion. Now I am a very skeptical person. Well, one that likes to research an idea before I jump on the ban wagon. So I did just that.

After I googled the number 7, I found a reference that correlates to the Bible. This reference noted that ‘seven’ is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). Much of the meaning is tied directly to God’s creation of all things. A couple references note that the word ‘created’ is used 7 times describing God’s creative work (Genesis 1:1, 21, 27 three times; 2:3, 2:4) and there are 7 days in a week with God’s Sabbath is on the 7th day. There are a number of additional references but you get my point. Researching the number 7 and numerology gave different references.

As well, I’ve heard that the number 8 is the year or time of new beginnings. And yes, I researched this number and yes I found spiritual references that support this reference. I won’t event explain them here. But when I searched the number 8 and numerology, like the number 7, I found different references than those that correlated with the bible.

Additional research turned up an pretty good article giving advise on how to find happiness. (The Way to Find Happiness, Tim Denning, 9 May 2017) This article was pretty good. While Denning provides seven (7) steps on how to find happiness, the last one is the one I enjoyed the most. “Start again (rebuild your life)” is perfect! It’s exactly what I was thinking. Denning certainly reminds me that it will not be easy. “Starting again means going through a transformation”. Wow, a transformation! Yes, I can do that. Here are some specific steps Denning shares in order to get started with that transformation:

-Coming up with a vision for how you want your life to be. Write it down and get freaking clear

-Starting again with a new set of friends and work colleagues (wow)

-Reading Think and Grow Rich

-Doing some personal development

-Getting advice from someone like Tony Robbins

-Changing your energy levels through a new diet and loads of exercise

-Committing to lifelong giving (this one’s a must for happiness)

Denning goes on to say that he actually completed all of these steps after hitting rock bottom. Now, I can really appreciate his article because I know that he lived what he shared. Ok, he is authentic and saying was hard to come back from rock bottom and land on his feet. He also advises that things will go wrong. But guess what, nothing worth earning comes easy!

So, basically, who needs specific references to know when enough is enough. I profess that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. And no matter what the numbers 7 and 8 really mean, know that 2018 will be a year of better opportunities and experiences along with happier times. And you know how I know this? Because I say so.

I look forward to creating a better life for myself and my family. No matter what it takes, I will move out of these dark times and transform my life. I am looking forward to 2018, even though it is only August. I see this as an opportunity to complete this ‘to do list’ that Denning shares. These next couple of months I will take the time to transform my life. I want to start the year off fresh and new, transformed. Begin again! Happiness!