th day of the year and I am still pondering the lessons I learned in 2017. I remember claiming, late last year, how 2017 would be my year of completion (now I believe there are some that have already noted that ‘7’ is the number of completion). Along with claiming 2017 the year of completion, I would embrace 2018 as my year of new beginnings, or at least new behaviors.ere we are, on the 8
As such, I professed that I would focus more on me in the year of 2018. Now that does not mean that I intend to be ‘non-giving’ while I claim my selflessness, but that I will certainly give in those areas where I find true fulfillment and that which, I believe, will truly appreciate my giving.
Wow…that was a mouthful. What I am really saying is that I have given of myself a lot over the last few years, maybe seven years to be honest. After my divorce, I was the primary physical ‘giver’ to my children. As a single person, physically parenting alone, I was responsible for the 100% nurturing of the last two children at home. This also included splitting myself in two in order to attend, chauffeur and cheer for activities of both children sometimes happening simultaneously. Now, I do not regret any of this time with my children, and in fact truly adored it. But during this time, I also served on three separate nonprofit boards, was a leadership member of yet another nonprofit organization and attempted to run a small business. (I use the word attempted because out of all of these roles and responsibilities, my small business suffered significantly….like I received very little revenue)
So here they are:
~No matter how much you give some will take and take and expect even more
~That when someone offers to help, their help really only extends to just knowing that you’re still struggling
~That there really is power in being alone
~That it is difficult as hell to find my compatible man
~That entrepreneurship is brain crushing
~That no matter your intentions, it is sometimes difficult to keep your word
~That no matter what you lack, it is never a good idea to mix friendship and money
~That even though I was raised as an only child, with an unnerving experience with ‘girlfriend relationships’, it is still painful to not have a ‘girlfriend’ to call everyday
I cannot lie, 2017 was an extremely difficult year for me. It reminded me of that seven year itch that marriages go through but only I went through a ‘seven year divorce itch’. 2017 truly felt worse than the year I went through a divorce which by the way left my younger children and me homeless. I am even tearing up as I write today.
Did I mention that I will be 50 this year? Yes, 2018 bring it on!